Hello, everyone!

So I've been having kind of a rough time lately. I think a lot of it has to do with hormones (I can talk about hormones on my blog, right?), but some of it has to do with always feeling like I'm on the go. For the last week or so, after I've come home for the evening, I have felt so overwhelmingly isolated and empty. The last time this happened, I kept thinking, My heart feels like a howling waste, so I looked up the phrase on my BibleWorks program, and I found Deut. 32:10-12:
He found him in a desert land and in the wasteland, a howling wilderness; He encircled him, He instructed him, He kept him as the apple of His eye. As an eagle stirs up its nest, hovers over its young, spreading out its wings, taking them up, carrying them on its wings, so the LORD alone led him, and there was no foreign god with him.
I was thinking of that this morning, really asking God to speak to me, to open me up so I could hear what He was already saying to me. I opened my One Year Chronological Bible and was in Ezra 1 and Daniel 6, and I saw where Cyrus proclaimed that the Lord had instructed him to rebuild the temple in Jerusalem, which took me back to Isaiah 44:28, where God calls Cyrus by name, a couple of centuries before he is born, and proclaims that he will do just that--build God's temple (this is also way before the temple is destroyed--God is amazing). That took me to checking out Cyrus' name in Hebrew via BibleWorks, which took me to today's Bagster's Daily Light:
September 4, 2011 - Sunday Morning

Sit still, my daughter.1

Take heed, and be quiet; fear not, neither be fainthearted.2  Be still, and know that I am God.3  Said I not unto thee, that, if thou wouldest believe, thou shouldest see the glory of God?4  The loftiness of man shall be bowed down, and the haughtiness of men shall be made low: and the Lord alone shall be exalted in that day.5

Mary ... sat at Jesus' feet, and heard his word.6  Mary hath chosen that good part, which shall not be taken away from her.7  In returning and rest shall ye be saved; in quietness and in confidence shall be your strength.8  Commune with your own heart upon your bed, and be still.9

Rest in the Lord, and wait patiently for him: fret not thyself because of him who prospereth in his way, because of the man who bringeth wicked devices to pass.10

He shall not be afraid of evil tidings: his heart is fixed, trusting in the Lord. His heart is established.11

He that believeth shall not make haste.12

1Rut 3:18; 2Isa 7:4; 3Psa 46:10; 4Joh 11:40; 5Isa 2:17; 6Luk 10:39,42; 7Isa 30:15; 8Psa 4:4; 9Psa 37:7; 10Psa 112:7,8; 11Isa 28:16;
Daily Light just pops up as soon as BibleWorks starts. I don't think I've ever seen it headed with an address to a female before, but here it was today, "Sit still, my daughter."

God speaks; I am not alone.

  • Praise God that He does speak to us, here and now, specifically to us, through His Word.
  • We were short on the rent this month, but our building manager allowed us an extension, and God provided the rest of the rent by Sept.1.
  • God has sent a couple of ladies through the Centre whom we have gotten to pray for. Or they might be the same lady, using different names (it's an odd situation. I was there one day and prayed for a lady, then the next day, when other people were there, a lady came in with pretty much the same story and asked for prayer, but she gave a different name. Odd).
  • My supervisor and the rest of the team are embarking on a new church plant, starting today.
Prayer Requests
  • Please pray for provision and protection for the Centre and the volunteers working there. Please pray for provision for our director's family, and jobs for his children.
  • Please pray for this new church planting effort--that it will be fueled by God's vision and will. Pray for wisdom for me in how to be involved in it. I found out about it Friday, and my involvement is going to result in a couple of large changes in my life, including likely not being able to go to my current Sunday church anymore. 
  • Pray for me, that I would walk by faith and not by feelings, and that when I have crazy feelings I would hide myself in God.
Thank you,


Olivia Sund said...

Hey Jennifer,

You don't know me, but I am in one of your mom's D-groups. She read us one of your posts a while back and I have been reading your blog pretty regularly since then. I love how you articulate what's on your heart and really enjoy your updates.. I hope that doesn't make me a total creeper since I don't know you personally.

Just thought I would de-lurk! :)

Mrs. Pankhurst said...

Thank you for de-lurking! It's kind of a big deal to me when I find out people read my blog. I really appreciate it. And no, you're so not a creeper!

CB said...

This is a really beautiful post, Jen. It blessed my heart. :) You are not alone, and it's great for me to be reminded that I am not alone. Love & miss you!!