On another note entirely.

So occasionally I make forays into the freezer to inquire after long-forgotten frozen pizzas and the like, and I had noticed a Wal-mart-bagged something in there, but I usually avoid such things, as they generally turn out to be frozen chickens or turkeys. Today, however, as Steven and I were poking about, he pointed out what was actually in the bag:


Yes, that is exactly what it looks like. See, Steven's Sunday School teacher works at Kroger, and every Christmas he gets to take home a pig's head, because Kroger always orders two (for what purpose I dare not ask), and fails to sell one. So James gets to bring it home and, being a man who works with youth, he uses it for pranks. Steven put this in his best friend Ben's car one morning during church, and Ben didn't find it till late that night, but he thought, why waste a perfectly good pig's head? So he put it into his mother's freezer. Mrs. W., suspecting nothing, opened the freezer a few days later and freaked and threw it away, so Ben rescued it, and Steven transferred it to our freezer, where, after the pattern, Mom found it a few days later, freaked, and then gave in. So there it sits. I have no idea what we're going to do with it, but it has eyeballs and everything, and it's thoroughly repulsive. Welcome to the weird, weird life of my family.